Roatàn, Honduras - Utila, Honduras
Dec 20, 2008 - Dec 27, 2008
- Nick, Brad and Angie flew through ATL to RTB, arriving in the early afternoon. We hired a cab to take us from the airport to West End, on the western coast of Roatàn. After the 20 minute drive, we met up on the dock with the captain of the catamaran scheduled to take us to the neighboring Bay Island, Utila. The Bay Islands (las Islas de la Bahìa) are comprised of three major islands (Utila, Roatàn, and Guanaja) and a few smaller islands closer to the Honduran mainland.
- We were a bit early for the boat ride, so Captain Vern went to secure beer for the 4 hour journey, and made arrangements with someone that would meet us in Utila to take us to the house that we had rented. Meanwhile, we ate lunch at a restaurant overlooking the harbor and had a few drinks.
- On the boat, we were joined by a few older couples that were really friendly and chatted with them during the trip to Utila. We drank beers and watched the sun set behind Utila, which was steadily getting closer and closer. Also getting closer was Captain Vern...to Angie. He was certainly an admirer, making not-at-all-subtle overtures and being very flirty. Anything Angie said, there was quick innuendo thrown back at her. Angie says that he was humping her back...and his young Guatemalan girlfriend was on the boat. A symbol of class and nobility, that guy was.
- Finally - we arrive at the dock on Utila, and it just happens to be a bar/restaurant called the Driftwood. We had a few beers and then out of nowhere the caretaker, Angel, showed up on his scooter to show us where the house was. Nick went with him on the scooter and checked out the house and then drove the golf cart (Club Car) back to the bar to pick up Brad and Angie. Throughout the week, Angie and Nick discovered that Brad was quite an outlaw on the Club Car. Scared for their lives. Also, midweek we discovered that the CC had a slight "exhaust problem." Namely, that the muffler under the seat tended to get WAY too hot and at one point started burning the plywood under the seat and melting the vinyl seat cover. Classy ride!
- We all got to the house and got settled. An odd Mary Poppins statuette was in one of the rooms, so we gave her a tour of the house.
Adding to the Odd Things Found in the house category was a vast collection of hats, visors, fanny packs and jackets. We amused ourselves for quite a while. 
The rest of the evening (it was already pretty late), we dranks beers and hung out on the deck of the house. There were a couple hammocks on the deck that we took advantage of.
- We went to get groceries at the local market the next day. Cooked dinner, went to the beach, and hung out at a beach hut near the house.
Rum was flowing (to Ang) and lots of beers that day. The Belmont menthol cigarettes were plentiful.
- Hanging out on the deck, it quickly became obvious that there was a major insect problem, namely thousands of tiny sand flies that bit incessantly. And the bites ITCHED like crazy. Everyone got bit pretty bad whenever we were outside, but for some reason they attacked Nick more than anyone else. Bug spray did not help; within a couple minutes they were back on us.
After suffering for a few days we went to the town pharmacy, where the shelf stocking person suggested using the lotion bug repellent instead of the spray. Glad to take anything that might work, we bought a couple bottles and sure enough, it worked wonders compared to anything else we tried. - We decided to do a sea kayak trip. We rented a couple kayaks and were off...Angie paddled solo in one and had a gimp paddle, but she ended up making it ok. We went from the southern coast of the island through the mangrove canal to the northern coast. It ended up being several miles, but it was a nice workout. Before leaving, Nick popped a couple Benadryl to relieve the intense itching from the sand flies. About halfway through the canal, he started to fall asleep in the back of the kayak. Should have read the label ('may cause drowsiness'). We hung out on the beach for a while before heading back through the canal.
- The following day we went to an iguana sanctuary called the Iguana Station in the interior of the island. It doubled as a research facility where several students helped conduct research on the lizards, their mating habits, and their habitats. A guide (a student from the U.K.) gave us a pretty educational tour. She showed us how they fed the iguanas (a pair of tongs and live crabs - iguanas won't eat dead crabs).
- On the northeastern side of the island was a large hill called Pumpkin Hill. We had wanted to do a hike up the hill, so we drove the CC up to that area. Started on the hike, but somehow got turned around, as signs marking the trails did not exist. Several trails were intersecting other trails, and some were running parallel to each other. We couldn't tell which ones we were supposed to be on and which ones were private property. We ended up just hiking on a trail next to the beach. Which was COVERED in trash.
We had learned from the iguana guide that the island does not have a garbage dump. It was pretty bad - the entire beach was covered. Needless to say, we didn't summit the peak of Pumpkin Hill, but we did get a decent walk in, trash and all. - The next day we found some blowup floating rafts in the lower level of the house and blew them up and got into the water at the house. Problem was, we had to walk out beyond all the shallow water (covered in seaweed) and then could finally get on the rafts once we were a good 50 feet or so off the shore. We floated farther out where we could get in the water and swim. The water was surprisingly shallow - we had to go several hundred feet off shore. At one point, Angie ended up off the raft and her foot struck some coral on the bottom which instantly opened a nicely sized gash and began gushing blood. It took a lot of attention once we were back on shore and in the house to get it to stop bleeding.
- The next day was Christmas! That afternoon we decided to take the club car into the town (for whatever reason) and came across some traffic...foot traffic. Child-sized foot traffic. Immediately behind, and surrounding, the children was a caravan of golf carts, decorated in tinsel and garland with drivers dressed as Santa's helpers. And in the last cart, Santa himself. Everyone on the carts was throwing candy to the children. The children, meanwhile, are going insane with excitement and a frenzy was building among them. And in the middle of this chaos? Us. In our golf cart. Frozen in fear, as we were getting shoved around by the children (yes, ON the golf cart), who were scrambling to collect their candy . It was as though we had run head-on into a cattle stampede where the cattle don't notice you but they know that you're there and they don't like it.
Truly frightening. We finally got past the parade and swore we would never forget the tragedy that almost took place on this holiest of days. - That evening, we went to an Italian restaurant in the town for Christmas dinner. The food was great and the woman that owned the restaurant was very friendly.
- On the 27th, we met Captain Vern at the dock around 6 AM for the ride back to Roatan. The ride was anything but smooth. It began raining and the wind was blowing very hard. The sea started to swell and soon we were being tossed around in the water. Up a 20 foot swell, down 30 feet. Up 15 feet. For nearly 5 hours. It was difficult to stand, but if we sat down or went inside the boat, sea sickness took over. Worst boat ride ever. We made it safely to the airport, however, and back to Memphis/Chicago.
